We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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