its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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