one word: firstdatebathroomanal
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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