I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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