my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
