Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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