Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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