I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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