No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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