I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
