Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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