walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
