Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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