hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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