i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
