i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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