Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
