so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
