Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
