Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
