He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Shame - the story of my life.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
