my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
