Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
