If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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