Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
birth control should be required to get into college
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
