So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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