Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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