do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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