They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
