me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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