When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
