so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
