Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
