he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
