this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
