Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
