my vag is so smooth its legendary
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize