Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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