I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
