I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
