my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
