we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
