you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
