I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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