If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
