I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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