If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
my poor anus
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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