either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
