That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
