It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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