I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
