I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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