You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
