Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
