I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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