im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
