thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
