Do vagina's smell?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
