Where is the hickey?
This girl is more easily done than said...
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize