We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
So many bounce houses so little time
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
