Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
