Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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