I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
