She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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