i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
