i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
