after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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