I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
