I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
