dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
