Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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