Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
