Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
